Calling at …
Day two saw the group heading for a place like no other, ‘my own space… by a warm fire… the smell of a Sunday roast … listening to the wind rattle at the windows.’
Looking for a place to call home is where many of us begin our own journeys. Whether that’s somewhere with a ‘cosy chair and a big telly’ or ‘with people who share the same interests’ reflects our unique desires. But the routes to realising our aspirations are far from equal. A quarter of adults with learning disabilities known to adult social care services, live in supported housing or supported living. (Local Government Association, 2021) Getting things right for those individuals starts with asking.
After a game of Can I Come to Your House? led by Theo, (prompting real-time invitations on a promise not to serve a cold coffee, in a copper coffee pot) Bee asked, ‘what does a home with the Trust look and feel like?’
A sensory exploration built up a heartwarming picture. The sounds of home, full of ‘laughter … music … the voices of friends and family’ and staff supporting individuals ‘to practice living independently.’ The tastes of home as traditional or adventurous as the inhabitants, from fixture-like ‘fish and chip Fridays’ to cooking ‘food from different countries once a week.’ The feel of home, for some ‘busy,’ for others ‘cosy’ and likened to ‘the feeling of sitting by a fire.’ A picture of ‘happy, welcoming’ homes that even the playful oversharing of certain smells of home, could do little to deter those who had already accepted invitations to visit.
A sense of belonging came through in a readiness for tricky conversations. When Bee asked, ‘what would you like to change?’ Helena signed, ‘I have something to say.’ She and her support worker shared a story of compromise between housemates that resonated with other individuals in the group, some of whom shared their own stories of speaking up and figuring things out together. But some changes need wider support behind them.
To have our “own place” where we “don’t always have to compromise” or to “move in with a boyfriend or a girlfriend” are aspirations informed by experience. For adults with learning disabilities, finding a home can be challenging. Moving on for reasons beyond a change in needs is often even more so. Although the Care Act (2014) emphasises adults’ rights to choose with whom and where they live, in practice funding limitations, a shortage of suitable housing and red tape can make it difficult to support individuals to exercise these rights.
To shake off the day’s conversations, the group turned to a song fast becoming something of an anthem, Treat People with Kindness, by Harry Styles. The ‘man of the moment,’ unanimously Jamie, (sorry Harry) for keeping up the feel-good vibes long after the music stopped.
♫ Feeling good in my skin,
Jamie keeps on dancing…
and dancing…
and dancing’… ♫
Day Two closed with group reflecting on their aims for the project, keen to use their words together as a louder voice for change. A parting thought: perhaps an extraordinary life is simply a wonderfully ordinary one.